What is it?

• The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) is a conflict management workshop based on a model of conflict modes.
• It allows individuals to analyse their own conflict-handling style, reflect on its usefulness in different situations, and explore when other approaches might be more effective.

Why is it useful?

• Provides a simple model and shared language to discuss conflict.
• Encourages constructive approaches to resolving conflict.
• Helps individuals recognise and adapt unproductive conflict behaviours.

Objectives

• To create a shared model and language for analysing conflict situations.
• To develop options for constructively resolving conflicts.
• For individuals to reflect on their own conflict style and consider alternatives.

What is the outcome?

• The team gains a model and shared language for analysing conflict.
• Participants understand their own conflict style and how it compares to others.
• Individuals may begin addressing unproductive conflict behaviours.

Process

1. Introduce the exercise

• Facilitator explains the objectives and frames the activity.
• Participants are asked to reflect on situations where their wishes differ from others.

2. Complete the questionnaire

• Facilitator hands out the 30-question survey.
• Each item presents two possible behavioural responses.
• Participants circle the option most characteristic of their behaviour.

3. Introduce the five conflict modes

• Facilitator presents the model: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, Accommodating.
• Explain each briefly with examples.

4. Score the responses

• Participants use the scoring sheet to tally results across the five modes.
• They create a personal profile of conflict styles.

5. Small group reflection

• Participants form pairs or small groups.
• They discuss when each style might be appropriate, and the potential pitfalls of each.

6. Plenary review

• Groups report back to the full team.
• Facilitator guides discussion on patterns, insights and practical applications.

How to score

• Each participant’s results show their relative use of the five conflict modes.
• Scores can be plotted on a graph for comparison with norms.
• Interpretation guidelines:
  • 25–75%: close to average use of that mode.
  • Above 75%: higher use than most.
  • Below 25%: lower use than most.
• Important: no score is inherently “good” or “bad”; effectiveness depends on the situation.

Secret Sauce

• When participants feel both options are imperfect, encourage them to choose the one that is most likely for them.
• Stress that extreme scores can be appropriate depending on role and context.
• Emphasise that conflict is natural and should be managed, not feared.
• Keep debate constructive:
  • Focus on issues, not personalities.
  • Note key points visibly on a flip-chart.
  • Keep the focus on future improvements, not past recriminations.
  • Avoid premature “taking of sides”.
• Encourage direct communication between participants rather than going through a third party.